How I Met Your Mother
by Fallen Jewels
Summary: Ten years from now when his child drops the bomb question that perks a very romantic story, Natsume knows what to say: "I showed up at her window one day and asked to kidnap her." At least they'll have an original story to tell. #3


This is just a little one-shot I've wanted to write for a while. :)

**Summary: **Ten years from now when his child drops the bomb question that perks a very romantic story, Natsume knows what to say: "I showed up at her window one day and asked to kidnap her." At least they'll have an original story to tell.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Gakuen Alice. Nor do I own McDonald's, although when I go up to the cashier, order a BigMac combo and pay for it in hard-earned money, I _do_ find myself owning a very delicious burger and a couple of the best fries you can find. :D

**Warning:** Do not, and I repeat, DO NOT go willingly with a kidnapper, no matter how hot he is. Chances are, he's not going to be Natsume Hyuuga, and he's not going to be remotely harmless. Mikan is an absolute and single exception. Okay? I'm just praying you don't take this story as another way to meet a hot stranger. :P

I'm probably pushing the OOC a bit, so just be forewarned.

Oh, and slight crack with a side of I-can't-believe-it, and just a little bit of slap-worthy humor.

Enjoy! :D

* * *

How I Met Your Mother

She was in her room, lying on her stomach across her queen-sized bed, with a book in her hand. Humming a small tune, she twirled a lock of her dark brown hair between her slim fingers absentmindedly while crisscrossing her heels in the air.

"Awww!" she gushed out of nowhere, eyes running over the page once more. "I can't believe he did that for her! He's like, a bad guy… that's hot."

Mikan was, as put in theatrical terms, a believer. She read fantasy and romance books and believed that one day a guy would show up out of nowhere and they'd fall in love, live somewhere in a far away land where everything was perfect, and raise a bajillion children who would grow up to be royalty. Perfect scenarios played up constantly in her mind, which just made it much harder for the boys at school to catch the beautiful brunette's attention.

Okay, so maybe that was an exaggeration, but that was what everyone thought of her.

_Thought_.

Rolling over onto her back, she slid her bookmark between the pages and snapped the book shut, getting up to place it in her constantly growing bookshelf. Then she stretched her arms over her head and threw a glance towards her alarm clock.

It was lunchtime.

_Time to eat_, she thought to herself before turning to pounce out the door.

_Creak_.

At the splinting noise that came from her balcony door, Mikan spun around to see a teenage boy's hands around some sort of metal bar stuck in the side of the door. He was trying to break into her house, she realized_._ His crimson eyes snapped up to meet hers as she opened her mouth to scream—

"_Shit_!" the boy on the outside shouted, loud enough to come through the thick glass. He shook his head rapidly and mouthed, "Don't scream!"

In pure curiosity, Mikan closed her mouth and walked up the sliding door, eyebrows raised.

He let out a sigh of relief and pulled the silver bar out of the hinge, and she could barely make out the words, "Open the door," from the movement of his mouth. Seeing her lack of understanding, the boy emphasized the movement of flicking the switch to release the lock on the handle and pushing it to the side.

She placed her hand on the curve as if to ask whether or not that was what he wanted. He nodded encouragingly. Laughing to herself on how stupid this was, her interest overruled better judgment as she flicked open the hatch.

When he slid the door open, Mikan automatically stepped back to let him in as she asked, "Who are you?"

The boy looked at her like she was crazy. Instead of answering, his red eyes scanned the room. "Is anyone home now?"

"Nope! Mom's at work," she answered offhandedly, plopping down on the edge of her bed. She seemed to think about it. "I think Dad might be home, though, but he's probably sleeping like a log still in the living room. He works nights."

"Good," the boy gruffed, half relieved, half arrogant. "You're coming with me then."

She cocked an eyebrow. "Excuse me? I don't even _know_ you."

"That's kind of the point," he said matter-of-factly. "I'm your kidnapper."

Instead of looking terrified or at all worried, Mikan laughed. The guy looked alarmed but she just said, "Well, you're a horrible kidnapper if that. I mean, seriously? You're not supposed to tell me that, and you definitely aren't supposed to get me to open the door for you willingly, because that technically means I can kick you out willingly. Not that you'd be able to open this door," she added before he could suggest otherwise. "Dad made it adamant from the outside so I wouldn't be able to sneak in if I snuck out."

"Troublemaker?" he questioned.

Her smile was deviously wicked. "You could say that."

"Well, I'm not _asking_ you to come with me," he delineated with an annoyed glare.

"You should," Mikan said simply. "I'd go if you were nice."

This time he looked at her with blatant disbelief. "Seriously? You'd go with a kidnapper if he asked nicely?"

She shrugged. "Not all. But you look harmless and I don't think you'd hurt me. Don't give me that _you're crazy_ look; I get it enough from my father. Is there a specific reason you're here?"

"I'm not allowed to tell you," he muttered.

"At least tell me our name," Mikan requested. "I'm pretty sure you already know mine."

"Mikan Sakura?"

"See? You already know me! So what's _your_ name?"

"…Natsume Hyuuga."

"Hm…" Mikan clicked her tongue. "Natsume, huh? That's a nice name. Where do you live?"

"Can we not talk about this right now," he snapped, but his voice was uncomfortable and edgy, added to the fact he kept glancing towards the door—it didn't exactly provoke Mikan into the direction of irksome distaste.

But she shrugged nonetheless. "Okay, so if I went with you, where would we be going?"

"You're actually agreeing to going with me?" he asked incredulously.

"Sure, why not?" She crossed her legs on the bed. "My friends are all traveling the world for summer vacation and I have nothing to do at the moment, so I'm up for a little road trip. Where will we be going?"

Natsume was still unconvinced. "Are you sure you're not insane?"

"Positive."

"Medications you forgot to take?"

"Nope!"

"A special syndrome I should be worried about?"

"Not that I know of."

"Any sort of injury to the brain?"

"Besides being dropped on the head constantly as a baby by my father?"

"I think that might be the case."

"Come on, Natsume," Mikan said impatiently, "I'm offering you a chance for me to go voluntarily, and you're wasting time questioning my sanity? Who do you work for?"

"I can't tell you that, either," he said then added, "Though I'd appreciate it if you kept the fact I told you my name a secret. They'd never let me see the day if they found out."

"Sure. Just tell them that Mikan Sakura says they need to train you guys better."

Natsume grumbled something about being horribly unlucky getting this assignment under his breath.

Mikan cupped her hand around her ear. "I'm sorry? I didn't get that."

He shot her a lethal look and sighed contrastingly, "Fine. Let's go."

"Okay!" she chirped cheerfully, pushing herself off the bed with her arms. "How long are we gonna be gone for?"

"Do you need to know?"

"Of course!" she argued as if it were obvious. "That way I can get what I need and write my dad a note telling him how long I'll be gone." She paused, as if remembering. "Wait, we won't be gone later than Wednesday, right? I have a baseball game then and Mom will kill me if I miss another—"

"Can you just act like a kidnapee for two minutes?" Natsume snapped. "Just pretend you're actually getting taken away and you have no time to gather anything, okay? We'd get out much faster."

Mikan crossed her arms and pressed her lips together. "Fine. Let's go, Mr. Impatiethead. You could at least be nice because I'm making this easy for you."

"Yeah, yeah," he muttered unwillingly, pushing the balcony door open to usher her outside. She slipped on a pair of flip flops that had been left lying on the floor. Once he came out behind her, he slid the door back so it clicked and grabbed the railing with one hand, flipping himself over it. Mikan let out a tiny shriek as she looked down two stories only to find Natsume standing there with an amused look on his face.

"God, you scared me," she huffed. "Next time tell your hostage _before_ you throw yourself over a deathly drop so she doesn't get a heart attack."

With a look of mirth in his eyes, Natsume yelled back, "Well, it's your turn to throw yourself over a deathly drop!"

"No way am I ever—" She stopped, eyes widening as she realized what he meant. She waved her arms emphatically, saying, "Nuh-uh! No way! I'm not jumping down there!"

"Scared?" he asked teasingly.

She narrowed her eyes. "No!"

"Then jump."

Two simple words. Mikan looked over the edge and bit her lip; she wasn't exactly afraid of heights, but jumping from high extents wasn't exactly her favourite pastime.

"Come on! I'll catch you!"

"I-I think I'll take the front door!" she called back weakly.

Natsume just raised an eyebrow at her, not really to be provocative but just in plain beguilement. "Sakura, I thought you wanted to come along for a little adventure. What's the fun in always using the regular means of transportation?"

Mikan looked down once more to see Natsume's extended arms.

"It's not like I'll drop you; to be a kidnapper, it's good to collect your subject unharmed."

He was trying to reassure her, she realized, and though he was pretty sucky at that too, it's what compelled her to throw her legs over the railing and fall—

—right into his arms.

Giggling, Mikan said, "You were right! The stairs and door are _so_ last month!"

Natsume smirked and set her back on her feet, leading her away to a motorcycle parked around the corner. "Glad to not be a chicken, huh, Polka Dots?"

She paused and tilted her head to the side. "What did you just call me?"

He shrugged. "You have such a childish underwear preference."

"Oh my God, my kidnapper is a pervert," Mikan drawled, looking at Natsume with strangely calm eyes.

"You sound surprised. That's usually what a kidnapper is."

"Nah, I'll just let you get away with it because it's so obviously not you," she said simply, taking stride beside him as they rounded the corner. Seeing his questioning look, she clarified, "You're a horrible abductor, so you want to make up for it by acting like one. It's clearly not you, Natsume. You aren't villain material."

"I don't work for the bad guys," he stated, "They don't teach us this stuff."

"Then who do you work for?"

"Can't say."

"Right." Mikan nodded like she understood, only prompting Natsume to be slightly more curious on why she was so calm being 'kidnapped.' When he passed her a helmet, she glanced at the motorcycle and almost laughed. "Seriously? A motorcycle?"

"Scared?" he taunted.

"Not in the slightest," she said without skipping a beat. "I was just wondering, if you were planning on kidnapping someone and they didn't go willingly, how were you going to manage bringing her back?"

Natsume paused as the question sunk in, and Mikan laughed, knowing by the way he cursed, "_Damn_," under his breath that he hadn't thought about it.

"You are such a horrible kidnapper," Mikan teased though the thickness of the helmet.

Natsume just grunted, "I think we already established that," which only made her laugh even more.

"To be honest, Natsume," Mikan said, wrapping her arms around him as he kicked up the engine and they took off, "I think that even if the girl you were going to abduct wasn't me, she would be more than happy to cling onto you on the back of a motorcycle."

Even though her head was against his back, she could feel him smile.

~oOo~

"So are you sure you can't tell me who you work for?"

The teen just grumbled something about this not being a part of his job description to which Mikan laughed.

"Thanks again for buying food, Natsume," she said for the millionth time. "I'll pay you back later, I promise!"

Natsume sighed.

They were sitting in a booth at a corner McDonald's grabbing a bite to eat since Mikan's stomach had been going off repeatedly, thanks to the fact he had 'kidnapped' her right before she was going to eat lunch. Also added to her regular eating habits being at every hour, so her stomach wasn't so used to being empty.

She took another bite out of her burger, then cleared her throat before saying, "Is that a no?"

"To what?" Natsume asked boredly.

"To telling me where you work."

"I already told you I can't."

Mikan paused to take another bite. "I'm just curious. After all, I have no idea where you're taking me, and whether or not the people you work for are total psychopaths."

"I also already told you that I don't work for the bad guys."

"Ooh, so are you government?" she prodded. When he looked away, Mikan gasped, "It that a yes? You're an agent? Which divi—"

"Eat your food first, ask questions later," Natsume instructed, cutting her off.

At the parental tone in his voice, Mikan put a hand on her head in mock salute. "Yes, sir!"

He rolled his eyes at her idiocy, but at least she did as she was told.

After a few minutes more, she lost her patience and asked, "Do you know why you were told to get me?"

"No," he stated, "I don't."

Mikan clicked her tongue. "You're not exactly thrilled, are you?"

Glancing over at her, he said, "I really don't care. I'm just glad to do something around there."

"Are you new?"

"What makes you say that?"

"Well—" she nibbled on the edge of a fry "—you said you work for government, and the only reasons they wouldn't send someone out would be if they were still inexperienced or if they weren't very good." She shot him a look and then added, "Okay, so maybe it also has to do with the fact that you suck at this."

"Thanks," he muttered sardonically.

"I actually think it's a good thing, Natsume," Mikan told him with a truthfulness in her voice that he wasn't sure to trust. "I mean, it's nice to work for the administration under an acceptable jurisdiction, but it's better if you were actually _good_."

"Are you saying everyone besides me in government are bad?"

"No, of course not!" She blinked as if that was the most outrageous thing he could say. "I'm not saying that at all," she said again with a little laugh. "I'm just saying that I'm glad my kidnapper isn't a bad person, alright? That's all I meant."

"Hn."

Mikan bit another fry in half, the tray in front of her almost empty now. "Besides, you couldn't have been working for very long; how old are you? Eighteen?"

"Nineteen in November."

"Well, November's months away," she said with a wave of her hand. "I could say I'm turning seventeen on New Years, but that's in half a year—little details like that don't really matter, not so far away in the future." Natsume raised an eyebrow at this, but Mikan just persisted, "So you've been working there, what? One year, tops?"

"About."

"Is that a half?"

"Look," Natsume averred hastily, "why do you even care? The work I do isn't for a girl like you."

At that, Mikan wore an amused smile on her lips, but she just commented, "That rhymed. "

Natsume almost fell out of the booth. "Just eat," he growled.

She shrugged, took a last sip from her ice tea, and picked her tray off the table, heading off to the nearest trash can. "I'm done," she announced, dumping the contents into the bin, and following Natsume out of the store.

"Good to know," he muttered.

"Ready to go?"

"Get on the bike."

"Ooh, now _there's_ the kidnapper's attitude," Mikan murmured, slipping the helmet over her head.

Natsume rolled his eyes.

~oOo~

About fifteen minutes later, Natsume pulled over on the side of the road.

"Why are we stopping?" Mikan asked curiously as the boy in front of her put the kick stand down and hopped off the motorcycle.

He ignored her and lifted the helmet off her head.

She blew flattened bangs out of her eyes and looked up at him. "You're not going to just leave me here, are you? This street isn't very busy and I'm a terrible hitchhiker."

Snorting, Natsume reached into the pocket of his leather jacket and pulled out a long cloth. "That's stupid. If I was going to ditch you somewhere, it would have been at the burger joint. And trust me, I was tempted." Ignoring her frown, he held up the dark fabric. "I'm going to have to blindfold you. You can't see where we're going from here; it's not allowed."

"Can't I be an exception?" she asked hopefully. As her answer, he reached around her head to tie the cloth and she sighed, "Okay, fine, I'll cooperate," as if she initially had a choice. "You have pretty eyes, though, you know that, Natsume?"

Surprised, he tightened the ends and she yelped. "Sorry," he apologized quickly, pulling off the band. "I thought you could see through."

"I don't have x-ray vision," Mikan muttered, wiping her eyes. Then she looked back up, hazel meeting crimson and he noticed that _hers_ were a beautiful mixture of green and gold, round like sparkling marbles. "But they are pretty," she commented lightly. "Who knew red could be a natural colour?"

"How do you know they aren't contacts?"

She just shrugged as he started to fasten the black strip around her eyes again. "You don't seem like the type to wear them."

Natsume cocked an eyebrow even though she couldn't see it. "You seem confident in the things you know about me."

Mikan's lips spread into a wide smile as she laughed, and he was almost reluctant to cover it with the helmet's thick glass. He pulled himself onto the seat again and her arms automatically went around his waist, her voice barely audible over the roar of the engine and the muffle of the cage around her head.

"Maybe, but I really would like to get to know you."

~oOo~

With his warm hand on the small of her back, Natsume pushed her along the pathway up to some building she didn't see them drive up to. A few times her hands would reach up to pull the blindfold off, but Natsume would just warn her, "Not yet."

Patience was not Mikan Sakura's strongest quality.

"Almost there?" she asked again, this time with a little more hope than the last.

"Yes," he said with a roll of his eyes, stopping her just before she walked into the building's entrance. "You can take it off now."

"Thank God," she huffed, ripping the cloth out of her eyes. "I thought I was going to go blind."

"I never mistook you for a drama queen," Natsume smirked.

She turned to shoot him a "Har har," before going back to face the platinum door in front of her. Her eyes widened as she recognized the familiar high-technology of the entrance system and she opened her mouth to say something but Natsume was already pushing through, pulling the girl along behind him.

As soon as they walked in, cool air-conditioning greeted them, along with the stares of everyone in the room and a loud chorus of "Mikan-chan!"

The room was in the shape of an oversized cylinder, and had the attributes of some kind of laboratory. A silver staircase spiraled up along the white sides of the building, going up several floors with too many doors to count connecting to different rooms and sections. Almost everyone in the room they had arrived in wore a white lab coat, and they all waved at the brunette.

Natsume turned to give her a puzzled look. "They know you?"

Mikan smiled sheepishly and started, "Well, I—"

"Mikaaaan!" a voice called cheerfully as a young woman came bounding down the metallic staircase, many people following behind her. The woman's dark brown hair was put up into a messy bun, her dark suit standing out in the all white room, and her heels clicked against the granite floors as she rushed up towards them with a smile. "Mikan!" She gave her a hug.

"Hi, Mom," she said, hugging her back before asking, "What's up?"

"Mom?" Natsume repeated quizzically.

"Oh, hello, Hyuuga-kun," the woman greeted him kindly. "Thanks for fetching my daughter for me; I guess it wasn't a mistake to send you after her. I trusted you wouldn't hurt her."

"Of course it wasn't a mistake, Yuka-san," three people agreed heatedly behind her as if their lives depended on them being great suck-ups.

But Mikan just turned to Natsume. "You never told me you worked for the Alice division!" She clicked her tongue then added, "Not that I didn't suspect anything, but it was hard to be sure because you were so damn persistent on not telling me."

"Well, you're the daughter of the _head_ of the Alice division," Natsume returned wryly.

"How else do you think I knew so much about government?" She shrugged but he just scowled.

"Sorry about not telling you she was my daughter," Yuka told him, but the sincerity was lost behind the brightness of her smile. "It's true that we have different last names, but I just figured it didn't matter."

Mikan turned to her mother and curved and eyebrow. "You told Natsume to kidnap me? Mom, you could've just called and I would've been over in a jiffy."

"Now where would be the fun in that?" she asked playfully, and Mikan laughed along with her mother in an easy forgiveness.

Natsume didn't doubt they were related. They both had strange definitions of _fun_.

Seeing the look on his face, Mikan came beside him and exclaimed, "Come on, Natsume! I _did_ tell you my mom was at work—"

"You didn't tell me where!"

"—and that my father works nights—"

"For the most elite division there is? I didn't catch it. "

"—and I said that my friends are travelling for the summer—"

"Wait," he paused, "do your friends work for Alice too?"

"Yup!" she chirped as if it were obvious. "Hotaru—"

"Imai?" he questioned with a groan. That inventor wasn't a big fan of him, and the feeling was mutual.

"You've met her?" Mikan asked, eyes bright. "She's the best, hm? Hotaru's my best friend and the A division's best and youngest inventor." She sounded so proud it made Natsume roll his eyes. "And Nonoko works in the chem labs; Anna and Yuu—" she pointed to a pink-haired girl and a boy with glasses who were standing on one of the risers on the second floor "—work here at home base; Koko—"

"Okay, I get it!" Natsume cut her off. "You don't need to list off all your friends here, because I swear it will probably be the whole freakin' building."

"Probably!" shouted a voice from somewhere in the huge room, and soon they were surrounded in echoing laughs.

Mikan giggled along with them. "Lighten up, Natsume! Shouldn't you be happy I work for the same place as you do?"

"Natsume?" Yuka whispered to one of her assistants. "When did my little girl start calling our newbie by his first name?"

"Oh yeah, Mom," Mikan said, glancing over her shoulder. "We owe him a little raise on his next pay check. He bought me lunch at McDs."

Yuka just curved an eyebrow at Natsume and stated simply, "I think you're about the worst kidnapper we've ever had."

"Thanks a lot," he muttered to Mikan, who whispered a little "oops!" in apology.

Her mom grinned. "But I'm glad. If I sent anyone else, she would've pummeled him if he looked even remotely dangerous, and she doesn't do the whole 'tied up' thing, so it's no surprise she probably just offered to go with you quietly, and no surprise you let her."

"There was a quiet option?"

"Natsume!"

"Just kidding!" He raised his hands up in surrender. "Geez, I don't doubt you'd beat up the next guy to treat you wrong."

Mikan gave off a laugh and said, "I apologized to Tsubasa-senpai." Seeing the brow he lifted at her, she expressed, "In my defense, he can be a little creepy to those who don't know him yet. He just came up to me; what was I supposed to do?"

"I'm proud to have her as my daughter!" Yuka announced, trapping Mikan in a deathly hug.

"Yeah, love you too, Mom. Now please don't strangle me."

Natsume just looked at them with a growing gratification at the strange pair, and he had no choice but to grin and say, "Fine."

"I'm forgiven?" Mikan's eyes lit up as she untangled herself from her mother's grip and passed on the bear hug to the boy. "Yay! Thanks, Natsume!"

"But," he drawled, watching her face cautiously, "you owe me something."

Her eyes narrowed. "What do you want? And how could I possibly _owe_ you anything?"

He chuckled. "You can leave the pay raise off my check and take me to dinner instead, alright?"

"Aren't you just a gentleman?" she said with a roll of her hazel eyes.

"Deal?" he pressed.

"Duh," Mikan grinned. "It's a deal."

"Oh dear," Yuka tsked, "You know there's a strict rule against dating co-workers."

"There are a _bunch_ of inside couples, Mom."

"Well I guess we're going to have to fix that, won't we?"

"Mom!"

She laughed, her voice trilling with merriment. "But I guess we can make a few exceptions, hm?"

"Thank God," Mikan breathed, and Natsume just laughed at the useless works he had just gotten into, but it seriously beat all the paperwork sessions he was put through with one of the directors, Persona.

And it definitely beat doing them alone.

So ten years from now when his child drops the bomb question that perks a very romantic story, Natsume knows what to say:

"I showed up at her window one day and asked to kidnap her."

At least they'll have an original story to tell.

.

.

.

"Dammit, Natsume! Can you at least not sleep when you're on surveillance?"

"Well, _sorry_, but we have two hours to spare and nothing to do."

"Two hours is an _estimated_ time. They could be out any minute."

"It's not like I don't expect you to scream my ears off anyways when they come out."

"Oh God, why would they even think to pair us up for this mission?"

"Because you begged your mom to?"

Huff. "I did not _beg_ her."

"Close enough."

"You know what, Natsume? Fine. Go back to sleep and stay quiet until I wake you up."

"Nah, I think I've sound something better to do."

"And what's that?"

.

.

.

"Sakura, Hyuuga, get your eyes back on the damn target!"

.

.

.

Maybe in a little less than ten? ;)

END

* * *

Like? :)

~Jules


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